Heart VS Head: Saying "no"

OOOF. I just said "no" to my mom. I feel guilty and relieved. 

The situation: I encouraged my mom to do an event that would benefit other people. I was invited, but being ill-prepared for the occasion, I told her I would not be able to make it. 

Heart's perspective: Not being ready for the event, it not being required for me, not being ready for it, nor it hinging on me, going would stress me more than it would bless me (poetry, right?). I would rather stay home and write a blog post.

Head's perspective: Having encouraged my mom to host the event, and it not taking much energy to go, I should attend. I would learn fun and slightly valuable skills.

I did decide to say no, and stay home. I am glad I did so, as I wasn't ready and the energy it would take to become ready was a large and stressful amount. The problem is, there is some guilt. It may have been the tone that was associated with the "fine," or my realization that I did encourage the happening of the event, but didn't go.

What does saying "no" mean?

It means I've made a choice
It means I have control of the situation
It means I put myself first
It means I have one less responsibility
It means I have said "yes" to myself
It means I've given myself some freedom

Practically, you can't say no all the time, there are responsibilities you cannot let fall to the wayside. But I know that I live in a "yes" culture, where when something is asked of you, the expected answer is "yes." If you choose something else like "no" or "not yet" people become frustrated, feeling like you have rejected them ("not yet" is a topic for another time that I would love to delve into). In reality, you said yes to yourself for a moment, because you cannot help other people if you haven't taken care of yourself. 

Oh also, FOMO (fear of missing out) plays hard into this whole "no" thing. That's when Heart goes a little too far. Head has to remind me that I will exhaust myself if I say yes to too many things. I'll betcha most people have FOMO, but for different things. My FOMO is that I hate missing out on people, if that makes sense. Not necessarily parties, but people. 

What's your FOMO? What do you always say yes to?

-Hannah

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