Heart VS Head: Love

There are 7 types of love.

1. Eros - passionate, romantic, or sexual love
2. Philia - friendship, mutual goodwill
3. Storge - familial love, commonly between parent and child
4. Agape - universal love, charity, love for strangers, nature, or God
5. Ludus - playful, uncommitted, flirtatious love
6. Pragma - dutiful, enduring love
7. Philautia - self love, self esteem

Bonus type: Mania - obsessive love, unhealthy infatuation


You know it's love when you buy them coffee every week, simply because you want to.

You know it's love when you remain friends even after almost dating.

You know it's love when they check in on you unexpectedly.

You know it's love when you cover for their weaknesses.

You know it's love when they call you out on your crap.

You know it's love when you miss them.

You know it's love when they do the dishes for you even though you're both tired.

You know it's love when they tell you they love you.

You know it's love when they buy you a matching item with them.

You know it's love when you stay out late with them.

You know it's love when they drive you home.

You know it's love when they never try to make you feel less than.


In these examples from my life, you could put many different types of love in.
Take "when you cover for their weaknesses" for instance. When I wrote this, I was thinking of Storge first, then Philia, but Pragma would also fit here. In every situation, the motivation could be different. 

This also brings in the idea of the Love Languages, these are the basic ways people show affection, there are five of them:

-Words of affirmation
    "I'm proud of you"
    "I love you"
    "I'm glad you're here"
    "Your laugh is infectious"

-Acts of service
    Doing the dishes without being asked
    Cleaning the bathroom when they're gone
    Doing their portion of the laundry
    Cooking dinner when they're tired

-Receiving gifts
    Unexpected coffee
    A souvenir from your trip
    A gift that fills a need
    Gifts just for fun

-Quality time
    Putting devices away
    Engaging in interesting conversation
    Doing activities together
    Making time specifically for them

-Physical touch
    A hug
    Hip bump
    Cuddling
    Holding hands

As I'm reviewing what I've written so far, I've realized this is a Heady way to write about something that Heart feels. When I first started this post, it was about crushing on someone. Love is such a deep, raw emotion, that writing about it wouldn't have worked if Heart was in charge, as this would result in much crying. A lot recently has resulted in me crying, but that truly needs a separate post.

Anyway, I hope these can be tools for you to understand love a little better. When someone says "I love you" you can ask "Philia or Eros?"

Sources:

Types of love
https://www.ftd.com/blog/give/types-of-love
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love

Love Languages
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

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