Heart VS Head

Well, I guess this is what needs to be said. I'm not completely okay. Now, what do I mean by that? I'm not clinically anything, so it's not that. I'm not suffering from a physical disease, so it's not that. I suppose it's more like I'm sad, maybe overwhelmed too. The amount of things that changed in this last year is insane... I cannot possibly list them all because there are so many things, as well as me being quite tired.  I miss family. Like being able to go bug my brothers, or spending too many hours watching Star Trek, or Monk, or Gilligan's Island. I miss having a lot of free time. I miss feeling simpler feelings. Everything is so complicated now, and it just keeps getting worse. Hmm, I almost deleted that word "worse" because I didn't want you guys to freak out. But, I am not going to delete my feelings to make you comfortable with my mental state. I have continued to be strong and "fine" or "surviving" or the o...

There comes a time when you must get to know yourself, and in this case one thing I know about myself is that if I write a blog idea in my phone, I will not write a post about it. So, this being the case, you will not get a post about being a unicycle instead of a third wheel, or a post about men vs women, or a post about why I'm proud of myself this week. I get to delete the note in my phone and move on.  "Moving on." I think most people think about this phrase in the context of the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a relationship. I'm thinking about this in the context of my parents moving on. Moving on from being parents of children, and moving to being parents of adults. I'm the youngest, so this is something I'm entirely unfamiliar with. Instead of fighting for independence like my brothers did, I am essentially given it. What do I do with this? My family system is entirely changing, and I was unprepared for it to come so soon. My oldest brother is ma...