Heart VS Head: The fourth one

So far, I've really only written when I was emotional, but right now, I'm fine. Not high, not low, very very very neutral. I want to sit in it a bit, really feel the beige-ness, minimalist-white walls, default phone wallpaper, blank metal water bottle, un-ripped plain blue jeans, Labrador family dog, neutrality of it all. Right now, default feels good.  

Don't get me wrong, I love being in a good mood. But sometimes, finding the middle ground again is more important than finding another up. I go from low, to lower to high high high! In the end, wearing myself out on that darned emotional roller-coaster. Take a break, friend. You are not made to be worn out, weary, and in survival mode. Settle. Sit. Be. Okay? Pick yourself up, move slowly, walk over to the window and watch the world. Watch things go by, for just a few minutes. What have you lost by slowing down? 

Exit the rat-race, it doesn't deserve you. Do not allow yourself to slowly chip off into the world, losing yourself in the process. You have so much to give, people need you, and you specifically. Stay away from the black hole. 

Have you been sucked in? 

Sometimes I see that I am sucked in and can't find a way to escape the black hole of the rat race. That's alright. Sometimes, you survive, and crawl your way back to neutrality.

vague
abstract
achromatic
drab
intermediate
vanilla
colorless
indistinct
calm
clinical
disengaged
easy
middle-of-road
pacifistic
relaxed
unaligned
unconcerned

As I was looking at these synonyms for "neutral" I started to see them as negative. Why? I think that we so wish for things to be good all the time, that we see the middle as negative. What a strange mentality! Let's live in the middle a bit. 

Wait, I've nearly completely changed my mind now. What about joy? God gives us joy, not neutrality. According to a quick search on Bible Gateway, there are 242 verses with "joy" in it. Much to ponder! Why should we not hope for good, and joy? Yes, life can be normal, and uninterrupted, but isn't it more fun when God redirects us in his will? I want to be open to that. 

I think leaving the rat race is only half of it, what are you filling that black hole shaped hole with? Vaguely middle-ness? That won't satisfy. Seek joy, contentedness. Happiness and beauty are both fleeting, don't yearn for them, they will leave you dissatisfied. 

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." -Revelation 3:15-16 

I was completely wrong. Joy is much more important, joy is for every season, the good, neutral, and bad seasons. Do not leave yourself in the vat of beige paint, you're supposed to be colorful.

Head took the beginning of this post, Heart and Hannah were confused the whole time, but in the end, God got to say something. Hopefully he'll help you dig out the truth, because even though Hannah wrote every word, she has no clue what's happening. 

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